“Talking to him is like running a mental marathon…I could barely keep up…”
Comparisons and contrasts offer great material for conversation. Not only do they help clarify your point, but they can help keep the conversation more interesting (and sometimes even humorous).
See if you can go beyond simple comparisons using “like/as.”
For example, “I’m talking…huge, Godzilla huge.” If you must use a comparison word, try to get creative – instead of […]
Making keen or insightful observations about your surroundings is one of best and most interesting ways for initiating conversations. Making statements about your common surroundings is usually safe and also interesting because it is very relevant to your conversational partner. Many poor conversationalists fail to go beyond simple observations like, “She is wearing a lot of mascara.”
There are so many fantastic ways to upgrade your observations, so let’s look […]
Do you like being the center of attention? Do you feel uncomfortable with a lot of staring eyes? Is it harder to speak in front of a small group compared to a single person?
Poor conversationalists who suffer from a form of shyness are often uncomfortable with being the center of attention. Many shy conversationalists are not only insecure about their conversational abilities, but many feel that they are wasting […]
The other day I made my two year old upset because I made him put on his coat before going outside. As any parent knows, if your two year old is upset, he may focus like a laser on that one issue. My solution? “Let’s go get an animal cracker!” And the smile returned.
We are not that much different as adults. We can all be distracted. If you make […]
Pretend you and I are about to get married in one hour – and you know all about me, but I know nothing about you (it was an arranged marriage). Of course, I want to know everything about you before we get hitched. I’m going to ask you questions about all of the following – can you answer them quickly? Take some time answering this list if you can. […]
A cake without the icing can still taste good. But you know that a cake with icing can be simply delicious. Like the Setup and Filler, this rule is often over-looked. It can come in handy during some very important situations. Have you ever said something that wasn’t easily understood right away? Have you ever said something that you realized was offensive to the listener? The icing is that […]
A bully says to you, “Why did you do that? You’re stupid.”
You could get defensive and say, “No I’m not!”
Or you could step outside of the attack all together and comment about the attack and/or attacker.
Here are some examples:
“Are you always this kind?”
“Your voice is annoying me now.”
“That sounded like it was meant to insult me…”
“How does it feel being such a jerk?”
“Luckily I don’t care what you think.”
“Are […]
This is another famous psychological principle. We are social beings and prefer to follow others than to go against the grain. Following others is easier, safer, and feels more natural for most people. There are thousands of studies on this fascinating principle if you want to learn more. One of my favorite experiments involved a bunch of hired actors who would ride an elevator and wait for someone to […]
A bully may state, “You’re always so defensive.”
A poor conversationalist would take the bait and respond, “No I’m not!”
Instead, expose the source, “Are you trying to make me act defensive? Because it’s not going to work.”
Everyone you will ever face is only human. In order for them to attack you they must undergo some thought process as to what to say, how to say it, what their goals are […]
A co-worker leans over and says to you, “You really messed up this time didn’t you?”
How would you respond?
Or what if a friend asks you, “Why are you always so defensive?”
The last thing you should say to either of these statements is, “I didn’t mess up!” or “I am not being defensive!”
At any point in a conversation, someone may intentionally focus the attention on you – and not always […]
