This is another famous psychological principle. We are social beings and prefer to follow others than to go against the grain. Following others is easier, safer, and feels more natural for most people. There are thousands of studies on this fascinating principle if you want to learn more. One of my favorite experiments involved a bunch of hired actors who would ride an elevator and wait for someone to […]
Nudge, Don’t Push
Change can be very difficult; changing actions, opinions, behaviors or anything else. Examine the primary two reasons: First, people are creatures of habit and are comfortable with what they are used to – change brings the fear of the unknown. Second, when people have been living a certain way for a while, it becomes who they are. Admitting that what they were doing or thinking was wrong, takes a […]
Give Them Options
Most people do not want to be told what to do. If you are too pushy or come off too strongly, you will turn them off and force them to put up their walls.
Provide the evidence and benefit of the proposal, without blatantly stating what they should do. Instead of demanding something like, “You should buy the XYZ widget,” try more neutral and informative statements like, “The XYZ widget […]
They Need to Like You
Liking and trust go hand-in-hand. If they like you, they’ll be more likely to trust you and what you have to say. And if they think you have many things in common, even better. If you demonstrate that you have some similarities, they’ll more likely assume that you understand them and their needs.
Don’t hesitate to subtly point out what you have in common. Do you know that they like […]
Use Emotion and Logic Together
You may be a very logical person and expect others to agree with your very factual argument. However, if you’re talking to someone who prefers to make decisions on emotion, your argument will fall flat. To be safe, try to appeal to both logic and emotion. Keep in mind that most people inevitably make the final decision based on emotion. Do they feel good about what you’re saying? Do […]
Stand in Their Shoes
One time I was at the grocery store when my three-year old toddler asked, “Daddy, I want that chocolate ice cream.” I suppose it was more of a demand than a question. When I refused to put the chocolate ice cream in our cart, he quickly turned up his volume by about 100 decibels, and made his demand again. The last thing I wanted was to create a scene […]
